FOLA'S HAVEN

 The immigrant journey is often painted with a broad brush of resilience and success. Society loves stories of those who "made it"—the entrepreneur who built a business from scratch, the professional who climbed the corporate ladder in record time, the student who became a shining example of excellence. But beneath these triumphs lies an unspoken burden—the immense pressure to succeed quickly. The Weight of Expectations For many immigrants, success isn’t just personal—it’s communal. The moment you step onto foreign soil, you carry the dreams, sacrifices, and hopes of those left behind. Parents, siblings, extended family, and even entire communities look up to you as their proof that a better life exists beyond borders. The expectation is clear: Don’t just survive—thrive, and do it fast.  Note the word "FAST". This pressure comes in different forms: The urgency to secure a well-paying job, even if it means working multiple shifts. The need to send money bac...

  This is not my first time moving from my home country to another land. But this time, it’s different. I have to remind myself that there’s so much at stake. I am no longer the starry-eyed young woman who left family and everything familiar years ago to chart a course for her life. Back then, I wasn’t afraid—I had no real commitments, except for a relationship that was alive today and dead tomorrow. Now, I am responsible for three human beings. Hey God. Two of them have their futures tied to the choices I make, whether good or bad. If this isn’t the real definition of “God abeg,” then I don’t know what is. The Language Barrier: English, but Make It Confusing One of the biggest hurdles for immigrants is communication. And I’m not just talking about learning a new language—because, as a proud English speaker who scored a 9 in IELTS , I thought I had this covered. But here I am, struggling with accents, slang, and professional jargon. The first time someone said, "You bet...

  Hey everyone, It’s been over a year since I last wrote here. Today is Saturday, and for the first time in a long while, I feel truly happy. My sister passed away on a Saturday, and ever since that heartbreaking day, Saturdays became something I dreaded. Since September 23, 2023, I’ve found myself staying awake through Friday nights, carrying the weight of those memories into each Saturday. But then, I started filling my Saturday mornings with praise and worship. Some days, the tears still come. I wrestle with questions about God’s love and mercy. Yet, over time, something shifted. I began remembering my sister without breaking down. Sometimes, I even imagine conversations with her, hearing exactly how she would have responded, and I find myself laughing out loud. I miss my sister, I miss her laugh, I miss having her here. I have my Saturdays BACK!!! Today, I braved the cold to go look for yam. People of God, the joy in my heart after eating boiled yam and egg sauce is the ginger ...

  Today makes it exactly 40 days since you left us on this side.  It has not been easy, some days are good and we laugh through the pain.  Some days are horrible and we cry all through but even in the tears we hear you, we see you and we feel your presence. Olajumoke Oyeronke Abosede , my hardworking sister.   The day you were born I became a big sister, and the day you left you became my guardian angel. You wore so many hats with grace.  Never one to show pain except when absolutely out of your power.  Of all the special gifts in life however great or small, to have you as our sister was one of the best gifts. And deep in our hearts we keep your thoughts to always love and cherish and never to be forgotten. When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.  Thank you for the life we shared little sis. You are loved and will be missed forever. Fare thee well my beloved, until resurrection day.  Until then...this is In Lo...

 I have not been here in a while. Life moved me in different ways. In the last one year, I have moved miles away from home, left a job I had done for 14 years. I have tried to maintain a social life, drink enough water, exercise (Yinmu). But above all, I am doing everything possible to stay positive in the pursuit of happiness which for some odd reasons seems to be a never ending cycle.  Here is to writing more in  the remaining months of 2023, sharing my stories and hoping it will help someone.  I will write again.

 Dear Women, There is no award in heaven , maybe in hell anyways for the woman who suffered the most to keep her marraige.  Do not stay in an abusive relationship just to keep up apperances. Do not seek counsel from Pastors and Imams as their default solution to your problems is to PRAY. There is a place for prayer, and there is a place for common sense. Do not keep quiet when you are a victim of domestic, mental, emotional and anyhow violence. Do not allow people to guilt trip or shame you in to thinking that divorce is never a way out. Do not give people the power to decide what is BEST for YOU. Do not allow yourself to be bullied into silence. Any man of God, asking you to pray and suck it all in has plans to collect offering on the day of your funeral. No, your friends can't take your place in the lives of your children. Leave, so that you can live. Things end, marriages end, people leave and guess what?? Life goes on!! "The greatest lesson of life is that you are responsi...